Shiksa
by beabean
Summary: Helga Pataki is pretty content. She's finally feeling balance in her life, thanks to the help of her amazing lover and her promotion. But sometimes things aren't that simple. Life has a funny way of testing her and what she really wants. (I'm no good at this. Just give it a shot!)
1. Chapter 1

My first fic. So please be gentle. As you already know I don't own any of the characters and all that good junk.

The alarm in Helga's room blared. She smacked it and let out a soft moan. She instantly felt any annoyance she had in her disappear when the body lying next to her shifted closer. A small smile crept up on her. "I never get tired of waking up next to you," she whispered. It took a huge amount of effort but she finally left the coziness of her bed and jumped in the shower.

It was a routine she grew used to. Wake up, shower, eat, and watch Jerry Springer until it was time to head off the bar she worked at. She brushed her platinum blonde hair and plucked and her eyebrows. At the age of 14 she finally decided it was time to lose the monobrow. She still had somewhat thick eyebrows but they were manageable. Finally she on her work shirt.

Her uniform left little to the imagination. She wore a soft pink button shirt with cut off sleeves. It tied in the front showing her very flat stomach. The bottoms were plain black shorts that did a great job of flattering her bum. Her favorite thing about though was the back of the shirt. In swirly black writing it said "Hellie."

It was her nickname at the bar and it was well known that she could live up to the hell part of the name. She finally made it down stair to kitchen and was overwhelmed with the smell of syrup. Waiting for her on the coffee table was a stack of pancakes with a fried egg on top of it. _Just how I like it. _She plopped down on the couch and ate like there was no tomorrow.

After what seemed like forever she finally saw her chief come out from the kitchen with a plate of their own. "What did I miss?" a soft voice questioned.

"Nothing but the usual shit. You know the Whole _I swear I didn't know she was a man Jerry!_"

"Good! I love it when she act shocked that there was a penis hiding out there all along."

Helga couldn't help but smile. She looked into her lovers green eyes and automatically knew this was something. It still amazed her after all this time she could still get goose bumps from just staring into those olive green eyes. Sure there was trouble at first. She was even kicked out for her love. But in the end it seemed worth it. Lila Sawyer ended up being worth it.

She could still remember when it was new. It didn't make sense, but it was right. It happened during college. Helga had was going to Humboldt and feeling out of place. Phoebe had gotten into NYU and as far as she knew no one from Hillwood was attending her school. That was until she went to the local coffee shop and saw the red head she spent most of her life hating.

Lila had changed a lot over the years. She was more laid back. More open to the world and it's problems. The rose tinted glasses she wore finally came off after she almost lost her dad to cancer. She threw herself into painting and actually managed to sell a bit of her work. When she and Helga came together it was out of loneliness.

It was rough. Helga kept pushing her away, only to show up later like it never happened. Finally after weeks of their awkward push and pull they managed to form a friendship. But it wasn't until about a year later they realized things between them had changed.

_They stared at each other. Eyes locked in a gaze that seemed never end. _

"_Hellie, I really like being around you." The statement made Helga's cheeks flare up. _

"_I really like hanging around you too, Sawyer."_

_The room suddenly seemed to rise in temperature and finally someone cracked. Lila touched Helga's cheek and went in for the kill. That kiss stirred up emotions Helga thought had died. It was what she needed. She had spent most of her life wanting someone who never wanted her back, right at the moment she felt more wanted than she ever had in her life. _

_It had been rough telling her parents. Bob said she was never to step foot in his house again. Olga claimed that it was okay, but it was obvious the thought still made her uncomfortable. Phoebe was last to find out. Helga had lost everyone. She was so scared she would lose her best friend, but to her surprise Phoebe just said "It's about time! I swear I saw this coming the day you told me you had matching 'friendship' lockets made."_

_After that they built up a life together. They rented an apartment where Lila could paint and Helga could write. Helga got a job at Kelly's bar and Lila thought an art class at the local community center. They had balance. For once in Helga's life things seemed okay._

"SAWYER!" Helga yelled from the living room.

"Yeeees, sweet cheeks," she purred back to her.

"You'll be there tonight right? It's my first night as assistant manager…and I don't really know if I can do it without my lucky charm." Helga smirked. She knew Lila loved being called that.

"You know I wouldn't miss it for anything." Lila pulled her in close and bit her cheek. "You know, Hellie. It's almost been 2 years since we made our affair official. Maybe this Friday we can go out for some dinner and movies."

Helga smiled, "Fine. But I'm not sitting through one of your sappy chick flicks." Lila smirked.

"Of course not! You're going to be sitting through a nonstop gore, because I got us two tickets to Slayfest!"

A loud squeal erupted from the tiny blond. "LILA! Darling, sweetheart, light of my fucking life! You are the most amazing girlfriend in the whole universe."

"I know I am! Now go to work before you're late!"

It was 9 p.m. at Kelly's and so far all seemed well. The only thing standing in the way of a perfect night was her missing lucky charm. She was getting nervous. It wasn't like Lila to be late. She was supposed to be there at 8. Rodney the bartender chuckled. "She'll be here. She's hopelessly devoted to your scrawny ass." Helga glared at him. "You're just pissy because she stopped dating you for me." She could tell it hit a nerve with him. Rodney was a friend. But only to an extent. He was handsome and well known for being a playboy. At some point he managed to actually score a date with Lila. It caused Helga to throw a jealousy fit and reveal to Lila a little bit of where her feelings were.

It wasn't long after Lila dumped Rod and started to try and fire things up between her and Helga. Rodney had always felt a bit hurt about it. But he eventually grew to love the couple. They seemed to have decent chemistry. It also helped that they were both attractive and that gave him plenty to go on when he had those lonely nights.

Just as all hoped seemed lost, Helga found herself engulfed in a bear hug.

"I'm sorry I'm late! But look who I met up with at starbucks!" It was than that Helga noticed the attractive blond male next her girlfriend. His bright green eyes locked on hers and she felt herself shut down.

"Hey Helga. Long time no see." Finally it set in. Arnold Shortman was standing in her bar.


	2. Chapter 2

I just wanna say thanks to whoever is reading this! I know it may not be everyone's cup of tea but I wanted to try something new. Anyway! hope you like it and if there is anything wrong feel free to let me know!

It was the night before graduation and Helga's phone Lit up with a text. _Meet you on the roof? _The voice in her head was screaming at her not to go. He had let her down so many times. Not that he ever knew. Arnold had seemed to remain completely oblivious to her feelings.

She had become a friend to him. Someone he came to with his problems. Most of the time she was happy to oblige, but when it came to the girl problems she felt sick. She threw on some denim shorts and a plain black t-shirt and some flip flips. When her and Arnold first started hanging out she would always do her best to dress a little nicer, but after a while she gave up.

Arnold was just another name on her list of people who didn't notice her. At least he acknowledged her existence. That was more than she could ever ask for. Passing through the living room she noticed Bob asleep on the couch. There was no doubt in her head that Miriam would be in the kitchen. She quietly made her way out the front door. It was late, and they wouldn't care that she was out, but Bob would definitely care if she woke him up.

Finally she made it to the boarding house and shimmed her way up the fire escape that led to the roof. Immediately she saw him, sitting in the usual spot on top of what he liked to call "their" blanket. "Hey Shortman!" He jumped a little, he was deep in thought. _Must be girl problems. _Helga frowned at the thought. If she was right it, which she thought she was, than it was going to be a very long night.

"Hey Helga…I'm really glad you showed up," He sounded off, almost nervous. "When don't I show up." She was frustrated. He could feel the tension she was giving off. It radiated off of her and drew him in, she always drew him in. It didn't matter if she was crying onto his favorite shirt about something at home, or if she was screaming at him for no apparent reason. He always felt the pull, the pull to hold her close and never let go.

"I really needed to talk with you about something. I just need you to listen." Before he could say anything else she snapped, "Arnold I can't do this anymore! I can't keep coming back here. It kills me inside to have you this close," tears were beginning to form, "I like you, I like you so much that I need to let you go. Figure out your own problems from now on!" She was ready to storm off, but he grabbed her close.

Before she had time to process what was happening she felt his lips on hers. Instinct took over and she felt herself let go. Arnold's lip kissed her cheeks, her forehead and her nose. "You're beautiful, Helga." That was all she needed to send her over the edge. This was the moment she had been waiting for most of her life.

He held her close. "It always comes back to you," he whispered in her ear. She felt chills. He gently brought her down to the blanket and pulled her body in close to his. His lips made their way to her neck and slowly worked their way down. For a second he stopped. The look in his eyes was something she had never seen in him before, but she knew what it was. It was want, it was him needing her.

He slipped off his shirt and helped her take off the one she had on. "I need to know you're okay with this." She just pulled him in for a deep kiss. He took that as a yes and unhooked her bra. He kissed her soft skin and caressed her. The tension built and he didn't feel like he could keep it in anymore.

He slid off her bottoms and undressed himself. "Helga, I really need to know you're okay with the rest of this." She smiled, "I'm fine with anything you are." He pulled her hips up closer and started to enter her. She gasped at the feeling. It hurt at first but she said nothing against it. He started to push in deeper and leaned in moving and kissing her neck at the same time.

After a while things finished, he detached himself and laid himself back down on the blanket. He grabbed her close and held her there. He never thought this would happen. He had asked her over to confess that he felt something towards her. He didn't know what it was exactly. He just knew she was more than a friend.

"Arnold," her soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "I just…I want to tell you…Arnold I love you." She felt his body tense up and immediately regretted saying that. A moment passed before he finally spoke. "Helga, I don't really know how I feel right now." The tears began forming in her eyes. "Helga, I'm sorry. That sounds bad. I don't mean it like that." Before he could say much else to her she started to dress herself.

"Helga, please don't be upset! I'm sorry!" The damage was done though and he knew it. "I can't look at you the same Arnold. You got what you wanted. Let's just leave it as it is." With that she left, tears slowly running down her cheeks.

The walk home was short. For once she was happy be there. She made her way up to her bedroom and cried. Her phone continuously vibrated, but she ignored it. Nothing he could say would make her feel better. The phone kept vibrating though and soon her sadness was replaced with anger. She walked over to her closet. The shrine had been long gone and in its place now was a box filled with her poetry. She tore open the box and ripped up every single page in there.

Years of built up rage poured out of her. She kept ripping and ripping till there was nothing but shreds surrounding her. "I'll always be alone." She slowly got up and made her way to her bed. This was the end and she knew it. She couldn't do this to herself anymore. It was beginning to be too much. She decided then and there that she no longer wanted anything to do with Arnold Shortman.

The next day Arnold woke up with a splitting headache. He had had a horrible night's sleep. But he would see Helga at graduation later and straighten it out. He had been confused but after a lot of thought he knew he liked her. Maybe it wasn't exactly love but he wanted to love her. There was potential and he knew it. He just had to explain it to her.

He was determined to make things right. "Ya ready Shortman?!" Arnold sighed, "I'm as ready as I'll ever be Grandpa."

"You look pretty down for someone whose about to graduate." Arnold knew he couldn't hide it from his grandpa. "I think I messed things up with Helga."

"Well Shortman if she's worth it then you'll fix it. And ya better do it fast before you miss your chance." With that Phil left.

He made his way to the stadium practicing in his head what he'd say when he finally confronted Helga. He saw her in her seat towards the front. She looked amazing. "She's pretty, isn't she." He looked next to him and saw Lila. "I really don't know what you mean, Lila." She scoffed, "It's as plain as day that you like her. I think you should make your move already. You never know what could happen…well good luck Arnold. Maybe I'll see you around this summer."

Soon the ceremony started and speeches were made. Pomp and circumstance blared on the speakers and one by one people received their diplomas. Caps were thrown and everyone cheered. As soon as they could leave he set out to find Helga, but she wasn't there. She wasn't anywhere. He felt like he was going in circles searching for her.

Finally he found Phoebe instead taking photos with her family. "Um, Hey Phoebe. I was just wondering is you knew where Helga took off to." The tiny girl glared at him. "Excuse me for a second," she said politely to her parents.

She grabbed Arnold's with a force that completely caught him off guard. "You will stay away from her. She's leaving tonight for the summer and then she'll be off to university. She's gone Arnold. So let it go."

"I really messed up didn't I." She sighed and her face softened a bit. "Arnold. You have no idea. Good luck Arnold." He watched Phoebe walk away back to her family. He knew he should find his own family, but his feet felt glued to the ground.

After that day he tried his hardest to find out anything he could about what happened to her. She fell off the map though. She didn't own a Facebook, and nothing came up with her name. A year went by and he had started to move on with his life. But then he saw it. Lila Sawyer's default picture.

He immediately recognized the blond that was cheek to cheek with Lila. He didn't know how to react. He wanted to message Lila or try to get her number. But then he saw the look on Helga's face in the picture. She was happy. He had known the girl long enough to know that look. It was the same sweet look that she gave him that night just before he ruined everything.

He sighed, "You're better off without me." He turned off his computer and snuggled close to his blanket. The same one they used to call "their" blanket. He decided it was time to let her go. For her sake he would let her go.


End file.
